Respect for natural laws offers a path to a lighter life in alignment with our destiny.

Bert Hellinger, the founder of Systemic Constellations, recognized that there are three natural laws of life that govern human relationships. For him, we are all governed by these truths, even if we are unaware of their influence on us.

Respecting the natural laws offers a path to a lighter life in accordance with our destiny. Disrespecting them, consciously or unconsciously, leads to manifestations that will be perceived as difficulty or burden by the members of a system. These natural laws are Order, Belonging, and Balance.

The 3 Natural Laws of Life

1- Order

Within a system, hierarchy is governed by temporal precedence. This means that those who came before have precedence over those who came after. A grandfather takes precedence over a grandson, a father over a son, and an older sibling over a younger one. Observing this dynamic within a family system is crucial for maintaining strength and balance among its members.

For this reason, those who follow must not and cannot interfere in the matters of those who came before. They cannot take on the pains or failures, even if justified by love. This “arrogant” love is seen by the system as an interference and disrespect for the other’s destiny.

Understanding

“The underlying principles of group consciousness make themselves known in our relationships and their effects. Those who are aware of these effects can transcend the limits of consciousness through understanding. Where consciousness blinds, understanding knows; where consciousness traps, understanding frees; where consciousness stirs, understanding restrains; where consciousness paralyzes, understanding acts; and where consciousness separates, understanding loves.”— Bert Hellinger, in The Love of the Spirit

2- Belonging

Every member of a family has the same right to belong. The system works to protect everyone equally. If this right is denied to any member, the system restores their place in the group through the representation of another family member, usually children, who are more susceptible to this blind love. Through this displaced remembrance, the system ensures the belonging of all.

Just as a tree does not decide where it grows, a child submits to their family of origin without questioning, adhering to it with strength and persistence. The child experiences this bond as love and happiness or fear of loss and separation. For this reason, children often blindly take on the pains and sufferings belonging to others in the system, without realizing that instead of helping, they are bringing pain to themselves and their families.

Among the 3 Natural Laws of Life, this one shows that the right to belong belongs to all in a group. The system grants no exceptions, even in cases where our judgment points to excluding those who act outside the moral rule.

All our ancestral network belongs to our system, but there are levels of belonging in a system that directly affect our lives. From this perspective, who belongs?

• The children: Us, our brothers and sisters, the living and the dead (considering conception as the beginning of life), those who were intentionally or spontaneously aborted, illegitimate children, or children from other marriages. All belong.

• One level above the children: Our parents and their biological siblings; previous partners of our parents who made room for our life to be possible; the rejected, excluded, and deceased. All belong.

• Grandparents: Our parents' parents, and their previous partners (under the same condition as mentioned above).

• Great-grandparents: With less force, the influence of the great-grandparents may occur, but less frequently.

• People who brought advantages to the family through their death or fate: Those who left inheritances to a family member, through which they could prosper.

• Victims of family members: They are brought into the system if they were victims of violence by a system member. The victim must be remembered with respect and love.

• Perpetrators of family members: Perpetrators of violence within the family become part of it. Through violence, especially if it leads to death, a bond of fate is created. Ignoring or excluding them may cause the system to find a representative for them within the family.

  
  

3- Balance

Among the 3 Natural Laws of Life, this is the law of giving and taking, the law of compensation, which, from a systemic perspective, seeks balance in relationships. Wherever people are relating, this law is in action.

As in physics, systems in their interactions seek equilibrium between the exchange relations that sustain these systems and their subsystems. The same happens in human relationships. There is a search for reciprocity and compensation in human relations, where giving and taking should be practiced in balance between the parties involved.

When there is imbalance, one of the parties may feel pressured to withdraw because they cannot reciprocate equivalently, creating weight. Conversely, when the person who gives too much perceives the weight of their “benevolence,” the withdrawal or anger of the person who received too much and could not reciprocate equivalently can, to restore balance, result in the giver giving less to this relationship, giving the other a chance to equalize in the exchange.

This compensation system finds an exception in the relationship between parents and children. In this relationship, parents always give and children always take. The compensation will occur when the children become parents and then give to their own children without expecting anything in return. This condition exists because the LIFE that is given and sustained has no equivalence; it can only be minimized through the generation of more life, by having children or by serving life through work. Thus, life moves forward with balance for all.